A few weeks ago I fell off the wagon and hit the bottom of the bottle running. I realized since then that I'm not much different than when I was sober. seriously. I had to keep telling myself I was happy with my decision to quit drinking. I was absolutely miserable, I had nothing to do for leisure since all of my friends either were too busy, or didn't feel right inviting the sober guy to parties. All I did was schoolwork and go off to work. I did some writing but that was about it and personally I think that writing sucked. I know Ilet a few people down with the decision to start drinking again but I know I showed my father a path he ddn't know he could take and I am happy he's stickin with it. But differences between us is I had no support network, and those of you who said you were, I had one person call me to do something the entire time; some of you were just too busy. I don't mind, I'm an easy going guy who hates puttin people out. I'm not gonna drag you out of your plans. And to C thanks for always letting me know your door was open when I was jonesing, but I just didn't know you well enough to open up with all of this. Thats part of the reason I didn't want to go to AA, I didn't even have the time to go. well Screw it we'll see what happens with this. I'm keepin it in check. No more going through half gallons of rum in a week. even though that was fun.

But this weekend I was in Vegas and met up with two of the best friends a man could ever have. It seriously was the best birthday present anyone could have asked for. You two stay safe!!! haven't seen either of them in years and luckily had the chance to catch up with them for a few hours. It was just a double bummer on Sunday when within 6 hours I'd told both of them goodbye until our paths cross again somehow. very bittersweet.

Guess I'll just keep doin what I do, grind through school as fast as possible and then get on with it all and hopefully restart my life again but this time do it somewhere I want to be and on my terms.