crumbling rock

This week has been very very odd. friday to friday I've got so many odd bits of news, some seriously odd while others are sorrowful. What makes it even worse is that I'm being surrounded by birthday celebrations and a few new friends. like I said AJ called me friday, well she called me again wednesday. this time was completely different. Our good friend John Collins had finally died. He was 78 or so and had worked every day of it up until sunday. He finally died, he's not in pain anymore, not having to battle his cancer, and he's where he belongs. one of the greatest people I've ever met and If I could achieve being a quarter of the man that he was I will consider my existence pretty successful. I can't make it to his services...It's too bad, but I don't do well at funerals and its 4 hours away and I have to work. well I figured thats the worst news I could have gotten. I fixed that hurt with some good friends and good beers and met one of my favorite bands randomly at my buddy's house. everything seemed like it was turning around. And then I woke up with this killer hangover. well I went through work battling pain and brightlights. and I succeeded. once I got home my grandmother called me up to inform me that my father is in the hospital because of "a mass on his kidney". now he had some skin cancer removed from his nose last month, and now this, it may be malignant, but the tests are being run currently....Its sad that I'm a 24 year old man and I'm having problems realizing that my 47 year old father, one of the only people I hold as a hero, is not invincible. I know he's not gonna just roll over and die, or crash in his sleep... but I'm freaked out. I seriously just want to see my dad shake his hand, give him a hug, and tell him that I love him. I'm seriously scared of losing my father and I don't know how I wound this shit up in my head but the man has had his finger torn from his hand, got reattached, got hit by a car and was working on the house a day later, he gets sick once every three years. my brothers and I along with our friends are afraid to jump him and wrestle him down because he'll take us down and put at least three 17-26 yr old men in the hospital before he accepts his defeat. and now his age is getting to him. I know he's still the same guy but I'm seeing that he's not the "rock" he used to be. It just sucks.