I had something show me that the bottom of the bottle is not the place to live my life. This thing was one of the most glorious amounts of time in my life. It showed me compassion, different views on life, care, and above all love. That time in my life has past. It past a long time ago. slowly I've seen myself becoming more fed up with society, angrier at people, more willing to start a revolution of society, but above all I've seen myself closing myself off from everyone. Very few people know who I am. I realized this after some friends answered some questions about me. the main thing people know is that I smoke like a chimney and I drink more than anyone they have ever met. these things may be true. but have you ever wondered why? why do I do these things? have you ever asked yourself that? Sure everyone I know enjoys when I'm around; if anything I'm a damn good story teller and a crazy son of a bitch. but why?

One of you have described me as a Great White Shark stuck in a fish tank. sometimes I feel that way, I mean, people don't view me as very modest but those that know me...they know I'm one of the most insecure people ever. I'm socially retarded unless I'm properly greased with enough social lubricant. I have mental explosions of ideas, but I can't convey them. Most tell me that my ideas are retarded. If I want to build something huge and awe inspiring shutup and let me do it. if you're jealous of it, shut the fuck up and give me a hand and bask in the glory of it. In the past 6 months two people have told me they are concerned about my drinking. because they know as well as me that when I drink I like to find adventure. The more I drink the larger the adventure becomes. I don't know what I'm saying. but I do know that very few of you know my core, I'm sorry I shut doors and hide them, but once you find them they are quite easy to open.


I'm an open book, please figure out which chapter to turn to.